Also, I can't find an explanation of the difference between a bombard and a cannon
So, the story of this Great Turkish Bombard is pretty hilarious.

First off, the guy making it approaches Constantine XI if he wants to buy it, and Constantine says that even if he could afford it, he has no use for it. So the guy goes to Mehmed II and asks him if he wants it. Mehmed says yes and as soon as it is built it is pressed into service bombing Constantine's city. Of course, to get the thing to Constantinople it takes one hundred men to clear and reinforce the road for it, another hundred to keep it from falling over, and that's not even counting the 60 oxen that do the actual job of pulling it.

So, it finally gets to Constantinople, and they start firing three-quarter ton rocks at Constantinople, which of course makes some very large holes in the walls. Of course, the gun is so unwieldy that it takes hours to reload and by that time the hole in the wall it just made gets plugged up. But they keep firing and they keep filling the holes and then finally Constantinople falls, not because of the biggest gun in the world being fired at it, but because somebody forgot to lock the side door and the Ottomans walk in and take the city.

After all of this, Mehmed decides he likes the gun so much he gets 41 more and puts them protecting the Dardanelles. And the guns sit there. And sit there. And sit there. And then over three hundred years pass, the guns are now museum pieces, and now the British are coming. So somebody says, "Hey, lets dig out those superguns that our rotting in our museums and fire them at this British fleet." So they do. And the ancient guns still fire just fine and the British retreat because, hey, superguns.

Don't tell me that isn't funny.